I sit here at my desk at 11 PM contemplating my current short film that's in production, "Reflection" and how it might/will turn out... My star, the only character in the flick, has never acted before and this is my first professional outing as a filmmaker... ahh, "filmmaker".... I can finally refer to myself as such and not feel like a complete tool.
It has proven to be fun and challenging and that's all I want out of this career I've chosen. On top of trying to teach my actor, Garritt, how to act, I am also (among writer/director) cameraman, director of photography, editor, color timer/grader and music composer. This is all so much fun and when I DO become a part of Hollywood, I'm going to keep it that way. Why have someone else do something for you when you know exactly what you want and know how to accomplish it yourself? Robert Rodriguez does it. Kevin Smith does it. Steven Soderbergh does it. Fuck. Why not me...
I think the most fun is teaching Garritt how to act. He still gets self conscious in front of the camera and I can't blame him. Trying to react to something that isn't there (you'll understand when you see "Reflection") and having someone stick a camera quite close to your face can be nerve racking. Afterall, it has only been he and I on locations shooting so far... perhaps that's a good thing, otherwise he might get more nervous if other people are there. I can see him getting more comfortable and accepting of the camera. Each day, in fact, it takes fewer and fewer takes to get the take I want. I bet by the end of the shoot he'll be pretty good.
I was nervous to find out, after the first day, whether or not he was digging the job that he's doing for free, or not. "Fucking awesome!" was his response when I asked him what he thought about the first day. May I remind you - he had spent two hours in dirty, algae-infested, green goop that we Salemites are supposed to recognize as water. Not only that, but those two hours in that slop he was splashing around pretending he was drowning. Imagine keeping yourself afloat for two hours in water and then making yourself drown without really drowning. He's not even getting paid for this and, "Fucking awesome!", was his response. What a fucking trooper.
This is the scene we shot that day:
(I can imagine that the agony on his face is genuine. He was cramping up pretty good by the end of the day)
I hope that the final product is enough to impress my brother Rick - the only member of my family not really supportive of my filmmaking. He is, but he isn't. He thinks I shouldn't have "wasted" my money on my filmmaking equipment and instead bought a little tiny camcorder to experiment with while apprenticing under someone else. FUCK THAT. I refuse to have someone else teach me what film is about. That's why I refuse to go to film school. I firmly believe that a filmmaker only gets their power from going to films - not film school.
My brother's discouragement and pessimistic attitude only drive me to try harder, but by no means will I base my filmmaking techniques nor my happiness on his standards.... he's just a tough egg to crack so that's one of my goals - to impress him...
Anyway -- I've ranted on long enough for the night - this turned out to be a pretty long first post. To quote Kevin Smith "I think I like to over-compensate because of my small penis." Ladies, ignore that last sentence....
Well - I have a horrible headache and think it's time I crawl into bed to watch some more Sarah Connor Chronicles before I pass out....
Goodnight everybody, and please remember to comment as well as rate and comment on my filmmaking YouTube channel (www.youtube.com/anarchyincproduction).
-Ryan
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